I am Olivera Milojkovic.

Born in Yugoslavia, my first four years of life were spent in europe, mostly with my grandparents, and even more so with my grandfather. He was a baker by profession, retired at that time and an avid farmer and gardener. I loved watching him bake, smelling the bread baking and eating it with butter and homemade jam my grandmother made. He also made pasta from scratch. We usually ate it with the homemade cheese he got that morning from the farmers market. I remember the bike he rode everywhere, rain or shine, and took me on that bike with him to all kinds of adventures. There were chicks too, all huddled together in a box lined with straw and heated by a warm lamp. He was patient, taught me about the animals, the garden, and I loved it. I witnessed and experienced my grandfather as someone who absolutely loved what he did and who fully enjoyed life.

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There was a fairly large vegetable garden in the back of the house with beautiful fruit trees, a strawberry patch, watermelons and an organic recycling pile. Every day I watched him tend to that garden, the trees and grapevines with such love and care. He read gardener’s magazine that regularly arrived in the mail and he studied it like a professor. He was always open to learning new and innovative ways to garden. He loved to share his garden and talk about it with anyone who’d listen. When I was with him I felt his enthusiasm for life, his love and aliveness and his inner and outer peace, fulfillment and satisfaction.

We moved to the US when I was a few days shy of five. Every year from the age of six to eighteen I spent two months, all my summer vacations, in europe at my grandparents house. When I was in Yugoslavia for those summers I felt I didn’t quite fit in. When I was in the US during the school year I also felt like I didn’t quite fit in. I felt everybody knew how to play the game of life except me.   

As a very young child I remember observing people. I watched them running around, going to work, and being unhappy with this thing called work. They complained endlessly how it was hard and how they didn’t like it. I always thought why do they do work they don’t like?

I kept these observations to myself because the few times I did say something about how I viewed life I was hushed or told that my observations were silly and unreal.

I saw that doing work they didn’t like made them angry, unhappy, stressed, edgy, snappy, sad, they drank too much alcohol and yelled, they even hit others.I thought why don’t they just do what they like and be happy.

Later, I saw that even when the work brought them a lot of money they were still unhappy, dissatisfied and scared. I saw that money didn’t really make people happy.

I was also guided into this box of work so you can pay your bills and survive. Or finish college, find something, anything and just do it so you can pay your bills and survive. I didn’t really find anything “to do” that fit me or that would “make me happy”. Despite my continuous efforts to fit into life I never felt I did.

I was always a teacher at heart. I even thought about becoming a teacher but i thought what would I teach. I couldn’t imagine teaching what was already in the schools, that just seemed too rigid and closed minded for me. During that time I just felt I wasn’t smart enough and couldn’t fit into university in the US or abroad. So I married education and intellect, a lawyer, and I officially decided to become the ultimate homemaker. I thought homemaker was my “thing”. My baking and cooking skills were spectacular but the intellectual - homemaker marriage was not. Again that feeling of not fitting in.

Then I married safety and stability. A good man. A brilliant businessman who could create great income and investments with one hand tied behind his back. A man who later became a new father to our daughter. But he was already married, to his business. Again, I didn’t fit.

And oh the joy of a daughter, who came into my life after an eternity of prayers and opened my heart for the first time so wide and deep. And just when I thought nothing could be missing in my life, that feeling in me stirred again.

At this point in my life I had what everybody considers everything, a big gorgeous house decorated with all kinds of beautiful things, dinner parties, friends, dining in upscale restaurants, trips twice a year to exotic places around the world, a husband, a child, and still it wasn't enough. I felt unfulfilled, empty and life seemed meaningless.

And so I began reading, searching and looking for answers in books and mostly in self help books. I was looking for something that would tell me why I was feeling the way I was, why I was still feeling like something major was missing in life.

I reached a point of inner suffering that was so unbearable, a kind of suffocation. I was still reading and searching. I was still afraid to speak my truth for fear of rejection, confrontation, judgement and the unknown. But at the same time I felt a kind of strength in me. It was ever so subtle at first yet so powerful, I could feel it in every cell of my being wanting to burst open. That was the day I stepped through the door marked fear and transformed my life forever.

At the age of thirty eight I stopped searching outside myself to fit in, I woke up out of the illusion of fitting in, what I later learned was a spiritual awakening, and saw that I was my own perfect fit. I was freed of all my conditioned thoughts and beliefs about how I should be. I decided to stop trying so hard to fit in. Everything I was looking for was in me. I was it. I had in me wisdom, intelligence, talents, power, abundance, love and joy. I realized I just had to tap into that instead of trying to fit into everyone else’s box. I stopped looking outside of myself.

I know one thing for sure, that Freedom is on the other side of fear and Life is about boldly trusting and following your inner guidance, your Authentic Power, your Heart. I began saying yes to what felt right to me and saying no to things that did not. I wasn’t conforming anymore! I was following my True Self. I had finally broken through the surface of life. I shifted from ordinary human awareness into Higher Consciousness.

The years that followed were spent uncovering and connecting to my Truth. I discovered the truth of who I really am as the higher Self, I honed my talents, removed old conditioning and limiting beliefs, trusted and followed my inner guidance and created “work” that was first satisfying to my soul and then beneficial to others in a great way. My Authenticity revealed my greater Purpose. I became a Spiritual Teacher and Certified Professional Life Coach specializing in coaching women through midlife bridge their mind to Higher Consciousness so they can find their greater Purpose and service in the world.

In my experience it is a beautiful marriage, one that Gary Zukav calls authentic power and defines as “alignment of the personality with the soul”. An example of Being who you are, serving the world.

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